Tag Archive for family


The Saddest Billboard

I’ve been seeing these billboards around Los Angeles (see above), and while I appreciate the smiles on the faces of the people posed in them, I still find the ads incredibly sad. Not because the people are HIV +. No, it’s because God doesn’t love them. I mean, God can’t love them. Because there is no God. I’m sure the… Read more →

Can Of Nickels

My mother dropped some coins into an empty 12-ounce can of Budweiser (which she had washed out), because someone had told her that the improvised device was an effective way to keep your dog from pissing on the floor. It was our family’s first dog: a sad, dumb, pure English bulldog named Crash. The dog was so pure in fact… Read more →


Mom: I worry. Son: Please don’t. We were safe. Mom: Did you wear a condom? Son: Yeah, that’s what I meant. Mom: Why? You don’t like this girl? Son: What? No, I do like her. But you still have to wear condoms. Mom: Why? She don’t wantta have a baby? Son: I don’t wantta have a baby. Mom: Then how… Read more →

Building A Shrine

Last year, Christmas Day, I walked out of my parents’ house in Little Neck, Queens and hoofed it to Great Neck, Long Island, which is a town over, but still a good walk. I’d had a heated argument with my father over what I viewed (and still view) as eminent domain abuse in Brooklyn and needed to clear my head.… Read more →