Black Friday

Every year, about two weeks out from my birthday, I am a miserable boy. I turn 32 on February 26 and all I’ve been thinking about—as I count the days til my Facebook wall is filled with birthday wishes—is Black Friday. I know we’re months past 2013’s Black Friday and nearly a year away from 2014’s, but there’s footage replaying… Read more →

Neighbors

The Sunday before Super Bowl 48 I competed in the Gracie Nationals, a submission-only grappling tournament held at the Los Angeles Convention Center in Downtown L.A. I’ve been training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu on the regular for about a year and a half. For most of my life I never had an interest in grappling or wrestling or roughhousing in general. But… Read more →

Giants

I wrote the following scene four years ago. It was previously available on my old website, posted February 6, 2012. EXT: PATHMARK PARKING LOT – FEBRUARY 7, 2010 MARTY (37), decked out in New York Giants gear, sits in a folding-chair behind his parked SUV. He’s warming his hands over a portable grill. MARTY (chanting): Let’s go, Giants! Let’s go,… Read more →

School Dance

Last night I dreamed I was a high school junior. I was standing in front of the DJ at a dance I had organized for the school. It was a formal event, so I was wearing a gown—but it didn’t fit me at all. I kept adjusting the top of it—which hung like a toga—while I lamented not having developed… Read more →

Seasoning

I don’t miss the seasons. But it’s not a temperature thing. When I was back in New York for the holidays I experienced the 5-degree weather, the wind-chill—the moisture on my mustache turning icy, as I shambled into the wind without proper head-and-ear gear. But I didn’t hate it. In Los Angeles (where I’m typing this) my bedroom window is… Read more →

African American

I’m not black. But if I was I might want to rethink identifying myself as “African American.” Because I’ve been reading a lot about Africa, and–YIKES!–that continent is fucked up! Read more →

Amputation

One morning in October of 2013 I was riding the 6-train when a panhandler got on. He was on his way to Harlem Hospital, he said, to get his right leg amputated. It was a Tuesday, but the cutting was to be done that Thursday. In the meantime he wanted “to buy a few items.” He rolled up his pant… Read more →

Peanut Mother

The world is full of people who are setups for jokes. I met one of the cursed on Southwest airlines. I was flying back to Los Angeles from New York, with a layover in Milwaukee. She was a mother in her late-30’s/early-40’s, attractive, and had yet to succumb to mom jeans, which I noticed when she was placing one of… Read more →

Rosa

As I prepare for my flight fly back to Los Angeles I’m reminded of Rosa, the young woman I helped when I flew into LaGuardia Airport last week. She was in the back of a yellow cab—the curbside back door thrown open—being talked at by the taxi driver (still in the driver’s seat) and the taxi dispatcher, who loomed on… Read more →

Erotic(a) Regrets

One regret I have about quitting my job as an erotic fiction writer so many years ago is that I never got to write my leper story. The one where, during the act of love-making with his missionary, the protagonist with leprosy literally falls apart. Read more →